Archive for December, 2014

Singing, eyes and text
December 15, 2014

I may have lasted over a month without you, surely my heart should be moving on right now. Delete the pictures, numbers, poems I wrote for you. I just can’t do all that yet. In the hopeless romantic heart of mine, I believe I love you throughout this break up and still that you are my love story. I’ve been with people before, moved in with them, shown them my deepest being. I have done it all before apart from with you I gave myself whole to you. For once I dreamt with someone instead of being selfish.

I guess my heart is still learning and while I am singing frozen songs with my friends getting drunk, maybe it’s time to let it go. I can’t rush this feeling and though I know I’m not getting any younger and some of my dreams may vanish. I refuse to stop believing in love. My eyes will meet yours one day and sparks will blind us. Til then I will ready my heart, repair the scars and wounds. Build up a home for myself to one day singing and happy hum while my love is texting me, telling me how much they miss my eyes.

Blocked, Blind and Feeling
December 10, 2014

James Blunt – When I find love again.

Playing in my ears. Mistakes I’ve made plenty of these. I could right now make them again so easy. I told myself last year I would not just jump into bed with the first person who wants me. Last time I hurt others because of this and hurt myself in the process, not this time. I choose to make a better plan for me. I may never find true love that is the scariest thing I’ve ever admitted to myself and the world. But at least I dream with an unblocked heart, eyes wide open with the full feeling of pain and hope.

I will not be blocked and blind to the feelings anymore.

Sit, Wishing and Hoping
December 7, 2014

Unlucky for me, I’ve been dumped and all my dreams came crashing down.

Dreams of marriage and children BOOM gone.

On top of that I am off work ill and basically homeless. Top life with my heart crawling around in pieces.

But with all this pain and the daily thought of you and the fact I can’t make you happy anymore.

With the eagles in the sky circling me for their next girl.

I am trying not to get tempted by the shinning new pennies.

I believe in the love I dream and that one day I will find that person to love me from the inside and out.

Wishing I don’t fall for the tricks of my old fake self, or getting with someone just for the fact they want me.

Hoping I stay strong and through the tears of loss, I find my true love.

The love that holds us together through the stars of time.

But until then, I will walk not sit, get not wish and Believe not hope.