Singing, eyes and text
December 15, 2014

I may have lasted over a month without you, surely my heart should be moving on right now. Delete the pictures, numbers, poems I wrote for you. I just can’t do all that yet. In the hopeless romantic heart of mine, I believe I love you throughout this break up and still that you are my love story. I’ve been with people before, moved in with them, shown them my deepest being. I have done it all before apart from with you I gave myself whole to you. For once I dreamt with someone instead of being selfish.

I guess my heart is still learning and while I am singing frozen songs with my friends getting drunk, maybe it’s time to let it go. I can’t rush this feeling and though I know I’m not getting any younger and some of my dreams may vanish. I refuse to stop believing in love. My eyes will meet yours one day and sparks will blind us. Til then I will ready my heart, repair the scars and wounds. Build up a home for myself to one day singing and happy hum while my love is texting me, telling me how much they miss my eyes.

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Blocked, Blind and Feeling
December 10, 2014

James Blunt – When I find love again.

Playing in my ears. Mistakes I’ve made plenty of these. I could right now make them again so easy. I told myself last year I would not just jump into bed with the first person who wants me. Last time I hurt others because of this and hurt myself in the process, not this time. I choose to make a better plan for me. I may never find true love that is the scariest thing I’ve ever admitted to myself and the world. But at least I dream with an unblocked heart, eyes wide open with the full feeling of pain and hope.

I will not be blocked and blind to the feelings anymore.