Sit, Wishing and Hoping
December 7, 2014

Unlucky for me, I’ve been dumped and all my dreams came crashing down.

Dreams of marriage and children BOOM gone.

On top of that I am off work ill and basically homeless. Top life with my heart crawling around in pieces.

But with all this pain and the daily thought of you and the fact I can’t make you happy anymore.

With the eagles in the sky circling me for their next girl.

I am trying not to get tempted by the shinning new pennies.

I believe in the love I dream and that one day I will find that person to love me from the inside and out.

Wishing I don’t fall for the tricks of my old fake self, or getting with someone just for the fact they want me.

Hoping I stay strong and through the tears of loss, I find my true love.

The love that holds us together through the stars of time.

But until then, I will walk not sit, get not wish and Believe not hope.

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Home memories
August 19, 2014

We’ve just come back from my mum and dad’s house. We spent the day with my mum’s side of the family¬†and again like always my brother who i thought a lot of when i was younger let the family down again to do things to benefit him. My poor mum does everything for her children and grandchildren to get nothing from him if she is lucky a birthday card from him. I would understand if he was poor but nope been to see every F1 race this year. Rant over because I found all my poems and writings when i was younger and will from today write them on here. It might take a while to get them all on here but I will try my best. I ws vey lost when I was younger thanks to many emotional events. I wouldn’t change my past because I am now happy and have a great awareness of feelings of others which helps me teach and coach.

Still Smiling and Losing
August 23, 2013

Hey there!

I’ve been busy with life and unable to make time to write.

Right now i am forcing myself to stop for a minute and write.

I am currently still losing weight which I know not from scales but from my clothes being baggy. (Once tight)

There is no basketball on till we return to University which is September. I’m keeping fit by cycling and doing weights to keep my strength.

My writing is still coming on, My book will be finished by the new year ūüôā

Reading 100 books in this year is getting slower and slower I know I’ve read over 25 now but I have not counted up in a while. I will need to get my wriggle on with the reading to finish in time. I remain half full about everything though.

I passed my second year at University with a 2:1

On a very personal note, me and my partner have got in engaged. (ALL Smiles)

There you go just one last thing.

Remember the only rule SMILE!!!

 

13,14 now 15
February 11, 2013

Well I’ve been very busy working on my basketball skills, I think my shots are improving. My coach even took me aside to work 1 on 1 with me he only does that normally with the starters. I made some really good plays in training, feels good like all the work I’ve put in is worth it. I got the basketball teams photograph yesterday, gonna take it home to show Ma next week.

I’ve been writing more and more on the novel seems to be going on, I think I am gonna ask my mum to read it soon. I just need a person to tell me what they think.

With my reading I have completed book 13 which was very good also 14 was by the same writer they was called Unbroken by Carolynn Amara was a very touching novel makes you aware about the struggles the people that fight for everybody’s freedom go through out there and when they return home which lasts them a lifetime. The second book leads on from the last book and its called Unspoken I really enjoyed going on a journey with the people in the book.¬†Read it for yourself though don’t just take my word for it.

Remember there is only one rule SMILE!!!

Sport Junkie
February 9, 2013

Today was a productive day I am currently half way through book number 13. I shall name this book if it continues to take my feelings on a journey. I have started my work for university with planning. I’m hoping my mentor at university will help me with the¬†structure¬†of the essays I have written. Weaknesses of mine is writing as my thoughts can never make it to the page fast enough. When writing my novel it’s different. I feel and control the words I write in the novel, with an essay though I control some aspects of it not all. In the two essays I am writing about a subject I do care about. Gender in sport and how promotion of health and exercise should be a whole school approach. I support ideas to improve both.

Talking about my teams I am looking forward to watch the Knicks tonight, Melo is on fire at the minute and the bench is strong. All I can say is bring it on Clippers. Leeds United left me felling all over the place after a draw, I hope Leeds can try and make a push for promotion (Doubtful though). I am still flying high about the Baltimore Ravens though, just wondering what will happen now with the team having to change.

I feel like a bit of a sports junkie all I seem to do is talk about sport it is a big part of my life and my goals but it’s not everything to me. I do look forward to playing sports, watching sports and reading about sport. My partner does think sport is my second love after my xbox haha.

But really I love my family first and everything else is second that’s just the way I think and love.

Remember there is only one rule SMILE!!!

Work can kiss my (INSERT WORD HERE)
January 27, 2013

I’ve been busy with working two jobs not had much time to write on here due to keeping the little time I have to write and read to complete my goals this year. One of my jobs is at the weekend only and the people who run it don’t know how to run a tap! I’ve over 28 hours in two days and I am tired. Wish my other job paid more then I wouldn’t have to do my weekend job. The job I like is working with children that don’t have that much in the world. I enjoy that job more than¬†any other job i have had so far.

The novel I have been writing is coming together nicely I have decided how to twist the story to keep the readers¬†interested. I have now told a few more people about me trying to write a novel, they all want to read it and are supporting me through it. This means so much for me, I’ve always had a dream about having a home by the sea and sitting there writing with the ocean in the background.¬†Surprisingly¬†I’m not doing anything at university towards this dream. I am aiming to get a degree which will give me the¬†opportunity¬†to have more spare time to write.

I had a check up with my¬†dietitian¬†with great results, I got on the scales scared as hell of the outcome. To my delight I have lost nearly 1 stone since seeing her last. She gave me praise and my partner did too, I just have to keep it up and not give up. I wish I was like my partner and could eat anything and not put weight on. I eat really good, exercise a lot and still stay bigger than normal. My doctor says the fact I have PCOS doesn’t help with my weight problem.

I go back to university tomorrow and have basketball practice, I am really looking forward to it. I like getting on that court, marking up and taking the game to the other team. I will get that starting¬†position¬†one day. I hope my parents will come watch me one day too, during my early days playing soccer she would never come and watch me play. I want her to see how far i have come with my¬†physical¬†side of life. I don’t get to see my mum that much seeing as she live over 180 miles away from me now. I would like to see it in her face the fact she is proud of me.

Well I best make use of this time I have free and do some writing.

There is only one rule SMILE!

A Physical Day
January 23, 2013

Hi there people, Yesterday was a very physical day for me, University had our class doing an hour of Basketball which I don’t mind at all. Then we all had an hour circuit training, then an hour of aerobics. Finally the class had to have an hour of indoor tennis. After that I had the basketball game. I drove the captain and the coach in my car up to the game. We all prepared for the other team. Due to illness we only took eight players including myself the other team had more subs than us. I was subbed on in the first quarter and I made some good assists and I got a lot of rebounds. In one of my¬†attempts¬†to get a rebound I got elbow to my mouth, which hurt¬†briefly.¬†We all supported each other and we won 58-46 in the end, this made me feel good about myself doing all that exercising in one day.

I’ve continued to eat healthy things, Also I’ve been forcing myself to drink more water than I normally do. Days in the past I could go a whole day not drinking (STUPID). But I have grown so much in the past few months, I want much more for myself than what I currently have. The only way to do this is to change things about you that you want to change, not for others but for yourself.

I couldn’t read any of my current book or write due to being at university all day and playing in the game at night. But the main thing is I feel so good about myself right now. I have today for writing and reading. Hopefully more than two chapters on each. I would also really like to spend some time with my partner. We haven’t had too much time together this week. I know it’s only Wednesday but I work every other night in the week. Right I’m going to write…

Remember there is only one rule SMILE!!!

Ravens and training
January 21, 2013

I made it home yesterday night after seeing one of my close friends before I left. I am hoping to see her again soon, she gives me a lot of happiness as a friend. She has always got a new person on the love scene. I managed to watch the whole Ravens game which was good I love Football but very new to it. My main sport has always been soccer from a very young age. Basketball is my second sport but I love the team I’m in and I’m not too bad a player. In fact I had my first training this week tonight, I played hard in the new plays we learnt. I feel if I keep going to every training with a open mind to improve and listen to the coach then next season I might even be in the starting five.

I have only been playing for the team since September, there are 15 of us in the squad. I’ve played in only four games this season partly due to the fact I work on Friday nights so I can’t play in the Friday games. I’m mainly used as a centre for the team as I am one of the tallest. I trained hard. We have a game tomorrow and I’ve been selected for the team which makes me feel good. We have to drive over an hour to play against the team but it will be worth it, we are second in the league at the moment. If we keep training as a team, working for each other we might go top of the league.

I managed to write another chapter on my novel as well. I’m really enjoying being creative with my writing again, I did write poems from a young age. As time has gone on and with life filling with other things, my writing became lost. I haven’t yet told anyone personally that I am writing this novel as I am cautious as I do not know what reaction I shall¬†receive off those who’s¬†opinion I care a great deal about.

I shall leave it here today and always remember there is only one rule SMILE!!!

 

 

The beginning 19.01.13
January 19, 2013

Welcome to the beginning of the start of my years journey, within the year I am going to try and achieve many different things. With this blog i am going to write about the progress I am making with the thoughts and feelings of everything.

The main goals I am going to give myself are to read 120 books within a year ending on the 31st of December 2013. Another one is to finish my first novel about a young woman struggling to find her wanted profession. The next one is very personal, to lose 2 stone this year. On top of this I hope to achieve the highest potential at university in basketball and on my course.

So far within this year I have made a good base for the chance to complete every goal I have set myself. I have already read 8 books within these ninteen days. All the books made me focus on what type of novels I enjoy the most to read. With knowing I like romance novels with a degree of personal growth that is what I will be writing about within my novel.

I have already lost a pound in weight and eating healthy. I have continued to play many sports to help with my fitness, trying to practice my jump shot a lot more. All of my current grades are on course to give me my 2.1 which is all I need to continue. Within basketball I am pushing myself each training session, when I am feeling tired I dig in to keep going. I want to look back at this point in my life and be proud of what I have done.

Read as much or as little, there is only one rule SMILE!